this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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