Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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