One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
