I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Are we still banned from the library?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
