Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Randomize
