hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
