someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
