my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
