dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize