You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
