actually, I'm a sock model
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
