why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
