The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
