Banned from zoo.
Again?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
