I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
