So drunk its hurt
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
