Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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