come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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