It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This toilet bowl is my home.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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