Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize