i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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