you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
