You made me cry and you don't even care
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
