i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
