You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it's like heaven, but drunker
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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