i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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