she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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