Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
