So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
