rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
