i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
