dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
