It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
