Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
