I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
