Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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