Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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