I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
