I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
