I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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