around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
