in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
