I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
