I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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