when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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