I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
