Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
