O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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