Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Come on in and take your pants off
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