I heard we made out
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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