If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
