Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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