now i know why i became what i already was.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
