Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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