this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize