apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
