sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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