i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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