He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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