I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
